I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
