look no pants
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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