Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
