I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
