marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
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