the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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