i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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