**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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