Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
