so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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