Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
