i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am available for nakedness
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
