I am puke
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
home. puking in laundry basket.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
