just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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