It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
