so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
