I just threw up on my dentist
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You took a bar mat shot.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
