yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
