I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
