dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
