I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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