You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
