Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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