this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i think my cat just said my name.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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