He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
