I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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