we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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