You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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