I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
