Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Drake has all the answers
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
