he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
