She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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