sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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