no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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