One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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