Got a toothbrush?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
