don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
