I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
