on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
they need to just BURY HIM!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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