I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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