How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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