you would pick up someone in the library
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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