i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
