I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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