I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
