Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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