I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
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