Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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