I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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