You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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